10. What's the best way to cook human flesh? (New Guinea)
9. Are you sure you're an anaesthetist? (broken arm somewhere in the Soviet Union)
8. Why do you think I'm a transvestite? (at home in Reading UK)
7. Why are you trying to set me up with the Minister of the Interior? (to the President of Botswana)
6. Why do we only have Wet Wipes to drink for the next four days. (on foot in the Gobi Desert)
5. Are we lost? (yes!-still in the Gobi Desert)
4. I've broken out of prison and I'm on the run. Can you call the Consulate? (to my mother)
3. Please can you be more gentile? (while playing rugby against a team from Fiji)
2. Why are you doing this? (to myself while trying to run six consecutive marathons across the Sahara)
1. Do you have anything bigger? (to an arms dealer in a known Al-Qaeda gun market, Yemen)